Hardest word

What is the hardest word for you to say? Is it sorry?

For many people that one little word is just so hard to say but it can mean so much and can change how a person reacts to something it can make forgiving someone so much easier to do. There have been times when I have been out and about and have bumped into someone and I could tell that the person was pissed off with me but as soon as I said “sorry” the person’s attitude has changed and they have not seemed so pissed off with me.

Sorry is not such a hard word some of us say it very easy others seem to think saying sorry is a sign of weakness, or if the say it they are admitting they are at fault in some way and I don’t think that is always the case, the at fault bit………it is never a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength just like crying only the strong find it easy to cry and to say “Sorry”……………….

So do you find saying “Sorry” easy or hard………………….


A Busy Day or I have New Clothes

What a day today has been I was woken by Little Leo around 8am this morning and I got Jessica up at around 9.30am so we could go out shopping for clothes for her and me and of course Leo we left the house around 9.45am and dropped Leo off at his aunty Kathy’s place and we didn’t get back to pick him up till 1.20pm. Jessica and I went to Charlestown Square were we had breakfast at Oporto http://www.oporto.com.au/ then we went to Big W to look for clothes I tried on a number of pairs of jeans before I found a pair that fitted ok and as it turned out the ones that fitted the best were the $12 Big W brand. I also got a pair of track pants after that we went over to the Salvo’s (Salvation Army) where I also found a pair of light weight pants and a nice top, after that we went to get Leo but guess what he didn’t want to leave but after some coaxing he got into the car. However we had to stop at Tasha’s before we left and what happened he wanted to stay and play with Blain for a while so he asked Aunty Tasha if he could stay and play with Blain and shock horror she said yes.

Anyway after we left Natasha’s we went out to another Salvo’s store where I got another top and Jessica bought herself some clothes a couple pairs of pants and some more clothes for Leo. So all in all it was a good shopping day be it long but good, tonight I am home alone while hubby is at work which is always nice.

Not the Hobbit

Port Gallery (1)

These photos were taken when we were in New Zealand when we visited a gallery they are awesome statues and such but they have nothing to do with the Hobbit even though they look like they would be.

Port Gallery (5)

What do others thing do they look like they would be the hobbit…….

Port Gallery (7)Port Gallery (8)

Me Sad

Yes I have been sad a fair bit lately, during our short holiday in fact each evening when we have stopped for the day I have felt quiet sad and down. I do not know why and when I was asked all I could say was I didn’t know how to put into words how I was feeling. I did have a great time during the day but by the time we stopped I wasn’t feeling that good and I was so tense it wasn’t funny little things annoyed me and I was snapping at people and just didn’t have any motivation to do anything. The first night I realised after going to bed that I hadn’t taken my medication and got up to do so thankfully Jessica had some coke left over so I didn’t need to open another can.

I was wondering if it was the travelling that was making me sad or whether it was Jessica getting frustrated with Leo which she did a fair bit, honestly I have no idea what the problem was.

I do hope it doesn’t continue

Last night was my first night home and yes again I felt sad but I think it was because I was so tired after travelling all day again.

Drinking not me………….

Ok I am lying I have been drinking and not Pepsi max but scotch and Pepsi max because I thought it might improve my mood as I have been feeling down and kind of sad the last couple of days. I can’t say why I have felt like this well by like this I mean down and sad not tipsy I know why I feel tipsy that would be the scotch………right

Anyway why should the love of my life…………aka………..annoying hubby be the only one to drink grog……..in fact I said to him that I opened the scotch before we left home and by before we left home I mean a couple of weeks ago and it is only a small bottle not sure home much it holds as all I can find is something that says 20cl whatever that means I could see that it is 40% something or rather.

The thing is when I drink which isn’t often the more grog I have the more grog I add to the glass if that makes any sense I in fact do not know if this makes any sense at all, I am still feeling low/sad and stressed very stressed in fact I am so bloody tense it isn’t funny and feeling like this makes me not so nice to be around. I feel sorry for my family when I feel like this in fact this afternoon I do not have any patience with Leo or Tim both are annoying the hell out of me.

Jessica has just gone for a shower she is feeling stressed and dirty and felt like a shower would make her feel better, I think I will go for a shower myself after she gets back I have to wait for her to return as she took my thongs and I like to wear the thongs in the shower don’t want to get………..damn mental block can’t think what’s called now that thing you get on your feet that make them itch and stuff…………

Day one of holiday with Jes & Leo

Well yesterday was day one of our short holiday with Leo and Jessica we left my place around 9.30am and went over to my parents place to pick up the motorhome and we managed to leave there around 10.30am it was a long day we arrived at Wellington Caves Caravan Park around 5.30pm last night.

It was mostly a good trip Leo was for the most part well behaved yes he got restless but that is to be expected of a 5yr old, hell I even got restless and had to make Tim stop so I could get out and have a stretch.

As to how I slept last night well after I managed to settle down it was ok I guess it took a while for me to find somewhere to plug my Cpap machine into and in the end Tim unplugged the electric blanket and said to remind him to reconnect it when we get back to my parents place.

What I did realise this morning was that I forgot to pack long pants for myself so I hope it doesn’t get too cold while we are away I do have my ¾ pants so I guess that will have to do.

Today we have gone for a tour of the caves which was great; Leo loved it and was fascinated by the “fairy dust” in the caves it was well worth the visit. Would share photos but don’t have time as we are at Macca’s and using their free Wi Fi.

I’m out of here

Ok I am not really out of here but I am going away for a few days from tomorrow Sunday. We are heading off to Dubbo with Jessica and Leo and we are taking my parents motorhome, I had wanted my other grandson Blain with us but his mum said no she thinks he needs a break from Leo. So there is only the 4 of us going not sure what time tomorrow we will be leaving but I do know we will be home either Tuesday or Wednesday, Natasha said if we are not home by Wednesday she will watch Summer for Kathy-Lee. Kathy works on Wednesdays now.

If we have any internet connection I will post and read blogs as well but at this point I am not sure if we will have any connection I know some caravan parks offer free Wi Fi and if where we are staying I will be able to check things out.

Jessica went home and got some clothes and also brought some flash drives with movies and TV shows for us to watch as mum said there is never any TV reception so it is good to take things to watch they usually take dvd’s with them when they go away. I also have a number of magazines and I will be taking my eReader with me and of course my laptop and my camera.

It has been years since we have been to Dubbo, Dubbo Zoo is a bloody awesome Zoo and Jessica has wanted to take Leo to the Zoo for a while now, we may also visit Old Dubbo Gaol while we are out there.


What a week it is has been here it is Thursday already and have to say it has felt like a short week hard to believe tomorrow is Friday anyway what have I been up to you may wonder to make the week seem short well it has something to do with going out pretty much every day. On Monday I had to go to the doctors to check on my blood sugar levels, I have now been put on another medication to help lower the levels something called Januvia 100mg tablets not sure yet if they are working or not I think they are but I have to go back and see her again on the 18th before I go back I have to have a blood test done better not forget about that, that’s to check about that my blood is clotting right so I can have the biopsy on my boob done.

Then on Tuesday I had to go with Jessica to an appointment that took ages and yesterday I went with mum over to see nan and then to see my dad who is in hospital (the Mater) he has been in the hospital since Monday and only today is starting to look ok he hasn’t been able to eat or drink anything since last Friday he was told he had thrush in his mouth and down his throat and oesophagus. He was unable to keep anything down and was in so much pain he really couldn’t eat or drink, he is at last starting to improve but not sure yet when he will be going home, anyway as I was saying yesterday I went with mum to visit him and nan we took Summer with us as I had her for the day as Kathy-Lee was at work.

Today I had to go over to the hospital myself for an appointment with the blood doctor who sent me for another blood test and said he will see me again in 6 months earlier if the test shows anything that needs to be addressed earlier. I told him that the last couple of weeks I have started to get very tired again so much so that I often need a nap in the afternoon if I don’t want to be in bed at some ridiculous hour which is why he decided to do the blood test. After my appointment I popped up and saw dad for a bit before coming home

Tomorrow is Friday and I have to not only do my weekly shopping but I have to go with Kathy-Lee over to the hospital for Summer’s ultrasound on her hips this time we are going to the John Hunter Hospital so won’t get to see dad while out. Then of course with it being Friday we will have Leo for the night and on Saturday I have an appointment at Charlestown so as you can see with all the bloody running around I have been doing this week it has felt like a short week.

This morning I drove Sydney-May to day care which is something I have started doing on Thursday mornings it is easier for Kathy if she doesn’t have to deal with taking both girls to the day care while she drops Sydney off and Sydney likes her nanna taking her.

Ok well it is now 2.10pm and I am feeling really tired again so I will post this then go and have a nap…………….

Two Sisters…………or Two Niece’s


This was written by my niece Heather about her relationship with her sister Kirsty I loved it so thought I would share it.

The story of two very different sisters:

One is here, one lives there.  One is a little taller than the other.  Two different colours of hair, two different outlooks on life, two very different views from their windows.  Both have different tomorrows ahead….

Each is unique in so many ways. Each has her own story, with all the busy things going on in the present. Each has different work to do and different demands on the day. Each has a separate destination and a different path to get there. But……………

For all the things that might be different and unique about them…….These two sisters will always share so much. They will always be the best of family and friends, entwined together, through all the days of their lives….

Their love will always be very special: gentle and joyful when it can be, strong and giving when it needs to be, reminding them, no matter how different their stories turn out….. They share the incredibly precious gift of being “sisters”. And when you think of some of the best things this world has to offer, a blessing like that is really…… What it’s all about.

Me Bleeding and more tests on my boob


What a few days I have had been busy as running around doing this and that, I have been visiting and reading blogs but haven’t had the time to write a post of my own so here I am on a Saturday afternoon finally getting around to writing a post.

Last week I had to go over to the breast clinic for the follow up tests ok I was over at the breast screen centre for hours left home at 9.20am got home at 2.30pm, had another mammogram and 2 ultrasounds they talked about doing a biopsy but decided against it.

For some unknown reason my left arm was bleeding from a small hole in it. It started at 8.30am well that was when I noticed it bleeding and cleaned it and put a band aid on it only to find out when I was getting the mammogram done again that it was still bleeding, the nurse replaced the band aids.

However while I was in the waiting room waiting for my ultrasound the same nurse noticed that it was still bleeding and that I had blood all over the sleeve of the gown I was wearing so she took me into a room and replaced the band aids with those strips to hold it close and another clear bandage thing……………….it still didn’t stop and after I was finished at the breast screen place the nurse wanted me to go over to the emergency department I didn’t really want to but she was insistent.

She even walked me over to the emergency dept. and spoke to the triage nurse anyway at A & E it was cleaned and a pressure bandage applied which I left on till I had my bath and it seemed to had worked but guess what about half an hour after my bath I noticed it bleeding again this time Tim applied another band aid and it stopped……….

I did find out that one of the medications I take Plavix is a blood thinner and they wondered if that was why my arm kept bleeding but I have never had that problem before and have been on the Plavix for a couple of years now.

Anyway but it was because of the bleeding they wouldn’t do the biopsy because they would have had to do it using the mammogram machine to pinpoint the right place as the spot they saw on the mammogram wasn’t showing up on the ultrasound. Also the needle they would have had to use was a big ass needle not a fine one like they use when they do it via the ultrasound and the doctor was worried I would bleed too much.

Well on Thursday I had a phone call from the breast clinic they want me to go back and see my GP and stop the Plavix for a week or so and then arrange to have a biopsy done, I am not looking forward to that.  I do not handle needles well, ok that isn’t completely right I am fine with most needles but a big ass needle like they are planning to use for the biopsy isn’t something I think I will handle very well. Mum told me when she had her biopsy she went into shock and they had to keep her in hospital overnight. Oh well I guess I will find out how I will go when the time comes to have it done. I am not worried about the results in any way as I am sure they will not find anything bad but I do know it is better to have these things checked.

When I see the GP on Monday I am going to ask for a referral to have my iron levels checked again as I am getting very tired during the day again, I am back to needing a nap during the afternoon if I do not want to be in bed at 7pm.