To what extent do you trust people?

Are you a trusting person?

I would like to say I am but in truth not so much, it takes me a while to trust someone and if my trust is abused it takes a bloody long time for a person to regain it.

Of course the are people I do trust completely such as my family but I am lucky to have a really close relationship with my family. I not only love my family I like them.

Neighbours and acquaintances I don’t trust that much that said I do allow a couple of people to order and receive Avon before paying for it as long as I get the money in a timely fashion.

Now I must have a certain level of trust as I have a habit of leaving my front and back doors open all day and most of the night even when I am in the bath or at the clothes line.

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Home Again

Hello everyone I am home now after being away for 9 nights dog/house sitting will be good to sleep in my own bed.

Last night Leo was restless and around 2am he came into me upset because he was unable to sleep, I told him to lay next to me and have a cuddle which he did and in minutes he was asleep in my arms and slept till 7.50am when I woke up.

The night before (Sunday night) I had a bad nights sleep with the dogs being very unsettled and hearing a woman speaking in a whisper, it sounded like she was talking to the dogs, I believe it was Aunty Joyce. The house used to be Aunty Joyce’s house before she died.

I went back to the doctor this morning about the pain in my right knee area and he said the ultrasound showed nothing and he had no idea what is causing the stinging pain in the knee area but has prescribed a pain relief patch.

It is called Norspan this is a brand of transdermal buprenorphine (Buprenorphine (BYOO-pre-NOR-feen)(‘bu-pre-‘nor-feen) is an opioid medication used to treat opioid addiction in the privacy of a physician’s office Buprenorphine can be dispensed for take home use, by prescription)

He wants me to give it a try for 2 weeks and go back and see him, I asked about something to help me sleep but no of course not, bet it would be different if he couldn’t sleep. Anyway I will get the patch on Friday as it costs $38.80 and I don’t have the money at the moment.

Indestructible Creatures

So today’s indestructible creature is the Arctic Springtail, springtails are mostly blind six-legged mini beasts that live in soil and leaf litter all over the world, in fact a dinner table sized patch of soil is likely to have , springtails living in it, what the hell……………. and when it warms up they soak up water and return to their normal size.

Now they mostly crawl around but if they feel threatened they can flick a switch under their bodies and ping themselves into the air to get away………….

Five things Friday

Well here we are on Saturday morning, I started this post yesterday Friday the 13^th but then Jessica turned up to get Leo and by the time they left I had forgotten about the post, so here I am finishing it this morning.

Friday the 13^th is considered by some to be unlucky and by some to be lucky, for me it is just another day but I thought I would share my thoughts about some of the things that are supposed to be bring one bad luck. Well only 5 things because it is Friday or Saturday.

Broken mirrors: Yeah they will bring you 7 seconds or 7 minutes of pain if you are unlucky to cut

your self while cleaning it up.

Ladders : Yes these can be unlucky if while walking under the ladder someone on the ladder

dropped something on you.

Spilling salt: They say if you spill salt you should toss a pinch over it put let us be honest here it is

only bad luck if you spill salt when applying salt to something and the lid comes off

and a heap falls out.

Opening an umbrella indoors: Yeah this can be bad luck if when you open it and hit something

breaking it or if you poke someone in the body or eye when opening

it.

Black cats: They say that you are doomed if a black cats crosses your path but lets be honest it

really is only bad luck if you fall over the damn cat or it runs in front of your car you hit

the brakes and swerve and run into a tree.

Indestructible Creature

Ok here I on this Tuesday Wednesday writing about another indestructible creature this weeks creature is the Antarctic Midge. This is the biggest, toughest animal you can find on Antarctic all year round, now you may have thought it would have been a polar bear but they live in the Arctic or maybe a penguin but they have to spend part of the year in the sea. So its this tiny midge which is only 5mm long (0.2in).

How does it do this you ask well the midge larvae (babies) shelter in the soil under the ice, nibbling on moss and lichen. The larvae contain anti- freeze chemicals so even in temperatures of -10°c (14°f) or below they don’t freeze solid. Instead they freeze almost solid kinda like ice cream… In summer the larvae thaw out and turn into adults……

Antarctic midges don’t have wings and can’t fly, if they did the blasts of icy wind would blow into the sea or up a mountain, so they just crawl around.

Is it stress

Hello everyone, it is Thursday here and I have had a somewhat busy week with appointments and shopping.

Yesterday I went to see the movements disorder doctor over at the Royal (hospital) and came away thinking what a waste of time.

He told me he thinks it is a functional tremor and caused by stress because we all know when they don’t have a bloody idea what the cause is it must be stress. He thinks I need to see a Psychologist to explore that side of things.

So really I just need to learn how to cope with it and he doesn’t think it will get worse even though since it started it has got worse and has gone from one hand to both hands and one leg.

He also said that he can see that for me the tremor is real, yeah of course it is real I am not imagining this damn thing, what a stupid thing to say.

So how do I feel, frustrated and somewhat depressed, doesn’t help that my leg has been bad and I feel like I can’t do a damn thing.

I am still exercising each day and I was told that was a good thing, derrrr of course it is a good thing.

Kathy has told me that the following things cause me stress and yes she is right but really these things are just part of life:

Getting Leo to and from school, Having Leo three nights a week,

Worrying about Tasha’s life and her practically ignoring her family,

Worrying about Blain and how he is dealing with the problems between his parents,

Being overweight and feeling I have no way of losing it,

Having Tim tell me he wants to go on better longer holidays and thinking we can’t because I can’t walk very well.

Am I wrong are these things just part of life or not.

Letter about me

Hello everyone who love and care about me, this is a letter from me to all of you about how I am feeling and coping with life lately.

I know many family members and other people are concerned about me so this is to explain things.

I have had a lot of problems with my right leg this year and recently had a cortisone injection into my right knee which has helped. Before the injection I was unable to lift my leg to get in or out of the car or into the house, often needing help from someone to life the leg in or out of the car, due to pain in the thigh, the pain level was usually around a 8-8.5 but is now around a 3.5-4.5 so much better and the pain is now in the knee and not the thigh. Yes there are times I still have trouble getting in or out of the car and house but there is improvement.

The start of the year saw me having pain with my achilles tendon, then it was my right thigh now it is the knee, yes I have bad arthritis in my right knee and my right kneecap has worn away but the arthritis isn’t considered bad enough to see a specialist which is really frustrating.

Let us move onto my tremor, it is as I am sure everyone knows now in both hands/arms and my right thigh and I now have trouble holding a glass in order to have a drink and holding a fork or spoon when I am eating. The tremor in the thigh used to be on and off but it is there most days now.

There is NOTHING that can be done for the tremor or I can do is learn to cope with it the best I can.

I was told that the tremor is a “functioning” tremor, but what does that mean you wonder, well according to Google a functional tremor is the most common type of functional movement disorder in a functional tremor there is uncontrollable shaking of part of the body usually an arm or a leg. It is due to the nervous system not working properly but not due to an underlying neurological disease such as Parkinson’s disease.

Unlike Parkinson’s disease, functional tremor is due to a reversible problem in the way that the nervous system is working.

This means that a functional tremor can improve and sometimes go away completely although there is no “magic treatment”.

Having a functional tremor can be disabling as the movements cannot be controlled.

How about my weight, well yes I am over weight and yes I am trying to change that but no I am not getting anywhere and yes it is depressing but I am at a loss as to what more I can do.

So let’s move on to my emotional state, I could tell you that all is good and I am happy but the truth is that I have a lot of times I just want to cry and hide away because I know my body is falling apart and I feel that it is all too much work and why do I bother. I am told by people who love and worry about me that I am going downhill fast, as if I don’t know that.

I find many days my concentration isn’t what it should be and I am often tired, very tired and it is an effort to do things but I keep trying because that is what I have to do.

I know I am loved and I know my family worry about me but as long as I can I will keep on trying to move and function because as I have told mum I don’t have the time not to get up and do things.

Someone has to get Leo to and from school and take care of him while his mum is studying.

I know I have Kathy-Lee to help me with many of the daily chores and more and more I really need her help but she is not able to drive Leo to and from school so I need to, even if we get him into the OOSH that will only be of an afternoon and maybe Friday morning and afternoon, which might be ok as I am generally ok in a morning.

Honestly I do not know how I would cope without Kathy’s help at times, what does get me down though is Tim saying he doesn’t know if I am able to take overseas holidays any more, even if I am unable to do some off the things I used to do I can still enjoy a holiday.

Last weeks random thoughts

Hello all and here is another weeks random thoughts………………….

It’s bloody hot and its only spring……………………….

Getting away for a few days in the caravan, so looking forward to it…………………………….

Forgetting to pack long pants because it has been so hot and having cold legs, thankfully I had a blanket in the boot of the car to throw over my legs……………………….

Sitting around doing nothing much and enjoying it………………………

So fed up with my shaking hand it is difficult to hold a glass to have a drink………………..

Tim admitting I was onto something with my doubts about getting a caravan……………….

Tim caught a baby shark………………..and let it go again……………………

Then Tim caught a bigger fish and was so happy……………………..

Coming home to my own bed and a hot bath, so good…………………….

Feeling really tired and not knowing why………………………

Leo here for four nights, while his mum goes to visit a friend, who lives 6hrs away by train……….

Leo going out with papa on the motorbike………………………….