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Me and Tim Cruise

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History Tuesday/Marriage

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So it’s Tuesday and it is Tuesday afternoon and I have been thinking on and off all morning about what to write in way of a post for today, I didn’t do a post yesterday as I was in and out of the house all day and just didn’t have the time.

Anyway since Tuesday is usually History Tuesday I am going to write a little about the history of marriage, why marriage well because Tim and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary on the 22nd that would be last Tuesday if you are wondering.

Marrriage

So marriage is also known as matrimony or wedlock, it has been around pretty much from the beginning of time some would say it predates recorded history may it does who really knows. There was a time when marriage was seen as a way to form an alliance between families, with the parties getting married having little or no say in the matter. In some cultures parents even married one child to the spirit of a deceased child in order to strengthen familial bonds what the hell is with that talk about weird of what.

Generally marriage is recognised as a union or legal contract between two people that establishes rights and obligations between them, their children and their in-laws. However, the definition of marriage varies according to different cultures but it is mainly seen as an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual are acknowledged.

In the Bible there are mentioned marriages between cousins and Abraham married his half-sister, cousin marriages are still common throughout the world, particularly in the middle east. In fact anthropologist Robin Fox has estimated that the majority of all marriages throughout history were between first and second cousins. I don’t know if this is true or not but interesting none the less.

Most of us associate marriage with monogamy but in fact polygamy was common throughout history, in the Bible many of the men had more then one wife. It was rare thou for a woman to have more then one husband.

Still, monogamous marriage was very different from the modern conception of mutual fidelity, it was common place for the man to have many extramarital affair right up till the late 19th century and it was excepted that children from those affairs would have no claim to the man’s inheritance. In fact a men’s promiscuity was often protected by the dual laws of legal monogamy. However, if a woman was caught having an affair she would be treated much differently and not is a good way.

By around the ninth century it was considered the norm for a man to only have one wife. Marriages in the west were originally contracts between the families of the two partners with the Catholic Church and the state staying our of it. In 1215 the Catholic Church decreed that partners had to publicly post notices of an impending marriage in a local parish to cut down on the frequency of invalid marriages. This was in place until the 1980s, still in the 1500s the church accepted a couples word that they had in fact married with no need for witnesses or corroborating evidence.

In the last several hundred years the state started to play a greater role in marriage and in fact as early as 1639 the state of Massachusetts began requiring marriage licences and my the 19th century marriage licences became the norm in America

Marrying for love only started to become common around 250 years ago and then it was slow until only about 100 years ago more or less, now days most of us can’t imagine not marrying for love. As for equality in marriage that is a new thing and by new I am talking only about 50 years ago in fact did you know that marital rape was legal in many states of the U S until the 1970s. However, some countries criminalised martial rape much earlier countries like some in the Soviet Union as early as 1922 and as late as 1960. In Australia my state of New South Wales made it a crime in 1981 and the other states from 1985.

The notion that both men and women had identical obligations within a marriage began being accepted as the norm around 50 years ago as well, it was around the time that many women started going out to work outside the home when they were married.

Hello Sunday and a wet Sunday at that

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Hello how is everyone? I am up before anyone else and by anyone else I mean Tim and Leo why is this you wonder, or maybe you don’t wonder but I will tell you anyway, I had to get the casserole on for lunch. I was going to go for a walk but alas it is raining again. I could go back to bed but let’s be honest here I rarely go back to bed once I am up it’s just not me, usually I would be fully dressed too but this morning I still have my nightie on with the pants I will wear for the day so only half dressed.

Last night while talking to mum we were discussing how dad often thinks mum is picking on him and we were wondering if this is one of the first signs of dementia, dad’s memory is really bad it was only a few weeks back that much had to drive him into town for an appointment at the diabetic clinic and yesterday mum mentioned something about it and dad had no memory of it at all. In fact he usually has trouble remembering stuff and has on occasion seriously got the name of one of his children wrong, and has often forgotten who people are like he has asked who is that girl referring to Tina, we have said it’s Tina and he has replied but who is Tina, she is your granddaughter and he will say oh yeah that’s right.

Mum and Sandra have suggested that he speak to the doctor about his memory but he will not he is worried that he will lose his licence, not that he drives much anyone in fact 99% of the time mum is the one who drives. We have told him it may not happen as his friend Wilf has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s is still driving but is on medication to help slow the progress of the disease, still will not mention it to the doctor. Mum will often hear her dad saying you will have to have a lot of patience Mavis.

On another topic what is with a couple of my siblings they are so much younger then mum like 30 years younger and have said to mum could she do such and such as they don’t want to do so much raining around as they are exhausted, what the hell, Sandra will complain about Dave taking advantage of mum and Dave complains about Sandra doing the same thing. On Friday Dave had mum pick Landon up from day care because he didn’t want to bugga rise around getting him, really bro do you thing mum wanted to go out in the rain to get him. Please note mum did go and get him and she did it without complaint because that is mum.

Mum is 75 years old she still gets up anywhere between 5.45-6.30 of a morning, she makes breakfast for young children and she will often watch Denni who is 3 while my sister takes her older daughter to school, unless of course mum has to drive Dave’s two girls to school also note that Dave’s girls naturally go to school near their home so that means mum has to drive them back to Wallsend which is a 20-25 minute drive. She also often takes Landon to day care and picks him up. Once or twice a week she has to drive Dawson to work experience often dropping him off then dropping the girls off at school but first dropping Landon off. Mum does all this without complaint.

Dad will often wonder why mum is to tired and worn out by 7pm and wanting to go to bed by 8pm some nights. She also takes care of dad which often involves getting up and down to fetch him stuff like his puffer, his fruit a glass of wine and so on, why because dad will say can you get me such and such and mum will do it she may thing what are your legs broken but she rarely says anything she just does it because to say anything will only piss dad off and it is not worth it.

Then there is all the money that mum “loans” Dave and Sandra I say “loans” because she rarely gets any of it back it is like when I “loan” Natasha money I do not expect to get it back and mum is the same she doesn’t expect to get it back. Why you may wonder well because we are realists and know that they don’t have to money to pay us back most of the time. If you were to add up all the money we give our children in a year we would be able to go on a nice holiday with the money.

Dad will say to mum can you speak to Dave about paying back some money dad has leant him and mum just things why, if he had to pay back he would have done so already, and he is likely to say to mum do you have the money to pay dad back and I will pay you later, later as in never and of course if she can find the money she will do just that, dad things the money is coming from Dave but in fact it is coming from mum.

Ok I am sure Dave may not know that I know all this but honestly me and mum tell each other pretty much everything, so there is little I don’t know and the same can be said for mum and what she knows about my family.

Moving on yesterday I did bugga all during the day, and even had to have a nap around 1.30pm as I was having trouble staying awake I did of course read some blog posts not many only about 24 or so then I moved from the computer to my arm chair to watch some telly.

Yeah I just went and finished getting dressed as I could hear Leo in the bedroom and Tim had gotten up to go to the toilet so felt it is fine for me to go and find a bra and top to wear, now I will post this as I have rambled on about my family and life long enough for this post.

It’s Thursday? What happened to Wednesday

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Well it is now Thursday and I didn’t do a post yesterday because I forgot, I did, however, go to the nursing home and see my nan and we took with us two little five year olds, Liarna and Temika and they had a ball running amuck up and down the hallways and in and out of nan’s room but unlike some people neither mum or myself resorted to screaming at them, we just took hold of them and told them to stop in a very firm voice. Did it work kind-of they settled down a bit.

While we were there mum and I went through nan’s clothes she has a lot of clothes and she doesn’t wear any of them much now days as she is now bedridden and it is only on some days that the staff get her out of bed, so mostly she is in her nightgown, of which she has a bloody lot.

Mum and I decided to take a few items of clothing that she had that looked near new and not something she would wear even when they get her dressed as it is near impossible for nan to have tops that go over her head, when they put a top on her the staff prefer ones that button up as they are easier to get on. I found a couple of tops that looked new that would fit my daughter Kathy-Lee as they were a size 8 and I can tell you nan is not a size 8 she has never been a size 8 the smallest she has been is a size 10-12 so what was with the size 8 tops I don’t know.

This morning while on my walk and it was a later walk then normal I didn’t leave here till around 8.30am because when the alarm went off at 6.30am I could hear rain so I just rolled over and went back to sleep. What is with us rolling over to go back to sleep why do we not just turn the alarm of and go back to sleep without rolling over and changing our position in bed, I know that I always roll over before going back to sleep, what about others if you turn of your alarm and decide to stay in bed do you have to change positions before you can go back to sleep.

Anyway I was talking about my walk and not about going back to sleep, while I was walking I noticed a number of sparrows diving at people like you see magpies do but these were little sparrows, never seen the do that before, one of my girls noticed them doing it yesterday not sure which daughter it was but I do remember one of them mentioning it.

I cut my walk short this morning as it started to rain again while I was out and I didn’t want to get wet I have been as you know not feeling the best and I really didn’t want to get wet and have to walk in wet clothes and end up well and truly sick so I cut the walk short and came home.

Oh yeah yesterday afternoon Blain was here for about an hour when he asked if he could ring his Aunty Jessica and see if it would be ok for him to go over to her place for the night, this was a surprise. She of course said he could and she was here within 10 minutes to get him, she did, however, say she didn’t have much in the way of food and needed to go to the shops and asked me if I would go down with her and run in so she didn’t have to get the boys out of the car and of course I said I would. All she wanted was ham, bacon, cocktail frankfuts and eggs and she forgot to mention the eggs and I didn’t have my phone with me so she couldn’t ring and tell me and then they didn’t have cheap shortcut bacon so I ended up giving her my bacon an unopened 1kg packet and the rest of my eggs.

Blain should be back tonight though, which as you all know is fine with me we are used to having him here now.

It’s Tuesday

It's Tuesday

Good afternoon everyone, I wasn’t sure if I would get around to writing a post today but here I am as you may have been able to tell the last few days I have not been up to doing anything special so all I am doing is writing about my daily life,not that my daily life is all that interesting but what the hell, it is what it is.

It has been raining a lot the last few days, I would have liked to have gone for a walk this morning but when I woke at 6.30am it was pissing down rain and there was thunder along with it so I went back to bed for an hour. However, after I got up it was still raining so no walk today and before I knew it Blain was being dropped off by his mum and thus the chance to go for a walk has now passed.

Due to the wet weather Tim has been taking the car to work in the morning and he was going to take the motor-bike in the afternoon like he did yesterday but instead today he took the car again this afternoon.

Tomorrow Blain is suppose to go to his aunty Jessica’s house while his mum goes to a doctors appointment, but he doesn’t want to go and is complaining but I feel that he will be find once he gets there so Natasha should drop him off as it is only for an hour or so.

Tomorrow I will be going to the nursing home to see my nan with mum and we are taking both Liarna and Temika with us, in fact Temika is super excited to be going to see great-nan. Sandra said she has been asking for the last couple of weeks when can she go and see great-nan at the nursing home.

For some reason I have been feeling so tired, worn out without any energy which is why I went back to bed after my alarm went off and I got up and went to the toilet and realised it was pissing down rain. Since getting up I have really not felt like doing much of anything, although I did go and do some shopping for Jessica and took it to her, why well because she said she didn’t have fuel to do and do it but I think it may have more to do with the fact that she doesn’t like to take Leo shopping with her.

I wonder if I am getting sick with something maybe just a bug of some sort, I guess I will find out in the next couple of days.

Monday’s Dribble

Hello Monday, I woke at 6.30am and went to the toilet and wanted to go back to bed but even though I tried I was unable to go back to sleep so I got up and went for a walk. During the walk I developed a cramp in my right calf and all I could do was push on and keep walking, it has now been going 4 hours later and I still have a cramp in my right calf.

I am not sure if Blain is coming here for the night I will find out later in the day, I don’t mind one way or another if he wants to come here that is ok but if he wants to go and stay at Jessica’s that is also good with me.

Yesterday it rained all day and I was unable to go and do anything, I did, however, do three loads of washing which made me think about the days when people didn’t have clothes driers. I think many of us take clothes driers for granted, I don’t use mine very often I prefer to hang my clothes on the line and have them dried in the sunshine. My daughter Jessica, however, always uses her clothes drier I don’t think she ever hangs her clothes on the line.

I spent the day home alone for the most part Jessica picked Leo up around 9.45am and Tim was at work so I was home alone and it was great I had a wonderful time doing nothing much caught up on some programmes I had recorded.

Oh yeah I mentioned on Saturday that Tim and I went out for lunch at the Eastern Tiger all you can eat restaurant and I will tell you we had a bloody great time, Tim who often doesn’t eat much does when we go to the Eastern Tiger he like me has many small amounts of food. It is the only time I have pavlova and I do like pavlova but no one in the family makes it so the only time I have it is when we go out to eat.

It isn’t even midday and I feel like going back to bed I am tired and I ache all over and have been coughing on and off and yes I have a headache as well which sucks, I hope I am not getting sick or anything like that.

It’s the weekend

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Hello Saturday, this morning I was up at 6.30am dressed and ready to go for my walk only to find it raining when I opened the back door, so I thought about going back to bed but decided against it and instead sat here are the computer and started reading blog post, only read about 40 different posts this morning, Kathy rang to see if it was ok for her and the girls to come over for a visit and of course I said it was.

So Kathy is here at the moment with Sydney-May and Summer who are busy playing with Leo, yes Leo was here last night as Blain was picked up from school by Kelli and is spending the weekend with his dad . He will, however, be back here Monday night and I may have him each night for the next 5 nights unless his other grandmother decides she wants to have him or if he decides he wants to go and stay at Jessica’s one night. Leo is staying again tonight as Jessica said she has plans.

It was the last day of the school term yesterday, children are off for two weeks then back for the last term of the year. Sometimes the school term seems to go past in a flash and other times it seems to drag on.

Tim said last night he would like us to go out for lunch today as it is our wedding anniversary on Tuesday we will have been married 31 years, so I had to ask Jessica if she would come and stay with Leo while we go out as we are not taking him, he is not a big eater and it would be a waste of money as Tim wants to go to the all you can eat place in Cardiff……aka…..the Eastern Tiger.

Yesterday afternoon I stopped at the day care to give my sister something and Leo wanted to go in and say hi to the staff, this is the day care he attended my niece Denni goes there along with Landon and my great niece Hayley, it is the same day care that Temika went to as well and Sydney-May went there for a year also. All the staff remembered him and thought it was amazing how much he has grown and how well he is talking now when he was at day care he didn’t say a lot and was not only shorter but a bit more chubbier, well the staff there thought he was I am not so sure about that.

At least Leo isn’t as much of a computer hog as Blain is he likes to watch telly, and play with toys more then Blain does, although when Blain has his Xbox here he will have times when he is in the bedroom playing his Xbox but there are other days when he doesn’t go near it.

Well I better post this and go and get changed to go to lunch, not going to wear what I have on as I am wearing house clothes.