TODAY IS A PROMISE YOU
MAKE TO YOURSELF
BY: Pearce Lane
TODAY IS A PROMISE YOU
MAKE TO YOURSELF
BY: Pearce Lane
Another week has pasted and I am still suffering with hot & cold flushes.
Up and managed to dress myself but couldn’t even manage to eat a egg & cheese roll.
Wrote 6 letters, vacuumed out, unpacked the dishwasher and sorted out the clean washing.
Been another hot day.
Started back at aqua today it was good.
Monday and Leo didn’t go to school, neither did Daemon so I have them here while their mums go shopping. Both were well behaved.
Leo is here for the night, he is somewhat hyper as not medicated.
Both Leo & Blain are getting along again.
Tuesday morning and I had a shocking night last night I woke up at 11.30pm to go to the loo and afterwards I had trouble going back to sleep. I had hunger pains and at 12.30am I got up and ate a sherbert cone, which helped
Found Leo asleep in his bed not on it, he had removed the sheets of wood under the mattress.
I have been sick all day and had two naps during the day and also threw up a bit and had to get Tasha come and get me off the bath room floor.
Had another bad night at midnight I took a Valium and it did help.
I went to the doctors this morning he has done a referral to a psychologist at Broadmeadow. I also had to have a blood test for rheumatoid arthritis.
I am still unwell and went back to bed for most of the day.
I am going to bed at 5.45pm.
Thursday I am as sick as, spent all day in bed, too sick to do anything. Leo is here till Tuesday while his mum is at her friends hens do in Casino.
Still sick all day
Friday at 2pm I got a phone call from Tasha she has had an accident while picking Leo up from school, in our car.
There is a lot of front end damage but no one was hurt thankfully.
Tim was angry but more worried about Tasha.
He rang and lodged a claim with the NRMA that will cost us $695 but of course our premiums will go up next year.
At last I am starting to feel a bit better but I am still far from better about 50% better.
Michael sent Tim a message saying that he would have Tim’s back in getting Tasha to pay the excess for the car. However, both Tim & I know we don’t have a hope in hell of getting money from Tasha as she just doesn’t have it.
We took Leo over to his house so he could clean out the bunnies cage and feed them. He did that while Tim & I went to see dad.
When we got home I noticed our neighbour’s daughter was cleaning out her house and had a wheelchair there so , asked what was she doing with it and she said we could have it for $50 so Tim bought it for me.
I am going back to bed at 6pm as I feel like shit.
Well here I am starting another week that was post, I slept in till 8am, I was cold when I woke up but after 5mins I was sweating. I had to get Tasha to come help me get dressed.
Kathy & Summer arrived around 9.30am she came to get her shopping bags.
Switched over to the new laptop.
Monday it is still cold here and I feel like shit. Hot and cold all day.
Tim rang DoH about the carport he was on the phone for an hour and had to go on and on to get his point across.
Mum didn’t get he pension today she should get a hardship payment tomorrow.
Asked Tasha if she will come down in the morning and help me get dressed after my bath.
Here we are at Tuesday and well Tasha forgot to help me this morning but I managed ok.
It is another cold ass day.
Last night after I went to bed I could hear Tim on the phone, I don’t know who he was talking to but at points he sounded like he was crying. Like when he spoke about Dad or Me.
Mum wasn’t paid her pension, I logged into her My Gov and she should be paid tomorrow.
Leo here tonight and has spent some time hanging out with Blain which was nice.
I am really restless this afternoon/evening.
Wednesday morning and Mum was paid this morning.
I felt like crying because I asked Tasha to call in to Jess’s and drop of Leo’s stuff and she got angry and complained about doing it.
Mum had Sue upset her this morning because Mum forgot that she needed a new Webster Pack till it was empty meaning Sue had to go and get it. What upset Sue was she was at the square yesterday and Sandy was there on Monday.
I took half a sleeping tablet last night.
Having another restless afternoon.
Thursday was another bloody cold morning only 4 degrees and I had sweat dripping out of me.
Saw the Dr he said there is no tear in the tendon so just have tendinitis and that takes months to heal. He said to use the walker more then cane
Jessica picked me up from Dr’s and has our car, so she can drive me to grief counselling tomorrow.
Leo here again and like Tuesday night he and Blain got on great.
Friday I had a bath and Tasha came and helped me get dressed.
Dave rang and asked rolling what he has could he just give me the bag of stuff and I said yep. So Leigh brought it over for me.
Jess drove me to grief counselling, the woman was nice we spoke for an hour. She seems to think I am coping well with Dad’s death. She doesn’t feel I will need to go back.
Tasha drove our car to Cessnock, Tim went on about fuel and his tone of voice was annoying.
It has been a hot day temps around 30.
SaturdayThis morning Jess drove me to Charlie while Leo stayed with Papa.
It is another hot day.
Then her and Tim wt to look at a car, she put a $200 deposit down to hold it.
Having a very restless afternoon
Well it is time for some positivity in my life so here are some of the positive things in my life.
I am sleeping better most nights, often not waking more then once.
I can still run the vacuum over the lounge room floor
I can still do the laundry and hang it out to dry, I however, cannot take them off the line
I can remove the bags from the bins tie them up and leave them outside the house, by the front door for someone to place in the garbage bin.
I still load the dishwasher and often unpack it as well.
I am still able to go to appointments, as long as I have someone to drive me.
It is Sunday afternoon and I just got up from a nap, I didn’t get to have one yesterday and was rat-shit by 6pm.
I of course sorted out the medications for Tim, Leo and myself before a nap and wrote 3 letters to pen pals.
The first thing Tim did when he got up was complain about Tasha borrowing our car, I am fed up hearing about it.
Tim made a number of phone calls trying to find out where Leo is on the waiting list to see a psychologist to have the atusim assessment. We got nowhere.
He then went to the doctors and had me go with him so afterwards we could go to Leo’s school to chase up a SRS-2 form owed to Dr Murray.
I have had a shocking afternoon with terrible hot and cold flashes all afternoon.
Tuesday was a better day, Tim is at work thankfully. I had a bad night with running hot and cold all night.
Had a phone call from Dr Murray, Leo should be seen by a psychologist in the next week or so.
At around 12.30 Jess & Kelli with Freya as Kelli had to print out some forms to fill in and return to Centrelink. They were here an hour.
Had a moment of crying as I went to ring and ask Dad if he still had his label maker. When Mum answered I realised that I couldn’t because Dad is no longer with us.
Leo is here tonight.
Mum rang and read me some letter written by Richard Thomas Jenkins 1st in 1916 while serving in WW1.
Dave said he wants them which pissed me off as I also would like them. Mum said I can borrow them to read and scan them into my computer.
Wednesday morning I went and saw the nurse and had the paperwork for the incontinence aid payment filled in.
Then saw the doctor about my left arm and mental state, he has sent me for an Xray and ultrasound, which I will have done tomorrow. I have to go back on the 21st for a mental health plan, so he can arrange counselling for me through Medicare.
Then Tim & I went out to the Eastern Tiger for lunch. I ate about half what I normally eat
On Thursday, Tasha drove me to the Xray place and picked me up when I was done. The woman who did the ultrasound said it looks like tendinitis.
Had a phone call from Fiona Harris about grief counselling, I go on Friday 16th at 10am.
Sandra called in to drop off the label maker and I found some photos of Dad and put them on a flash drive for her.
This morning I was able to do my own make-up after Tasha helped me get dressed.
Saw Kelli at the square she gave me a gift that I really liked. She hung around Jess & myself.
Tasha drove our car to Cessnock.
Saturday saw Jess doing a wine tour, so Leo is here.
Kathy picked up my shopping for me and dropped it off but was rushed as she was in a hurry.
Leo isn’t medicated and hasn’t stopped eating all day.
We went over to the Mater and found where I go next Friday, we then went to Kmart before coming home.
Jessica said she will take me to the appointment.
Jess had a phone from Dr Murray she sent the scripts to the chemist, I will see if Tasha can go get what I need on Monday.
Another week over and another week beginning, today it is a lovely day saw Kathy & Summer when they came over to use my iron.
Natasha gave Summer some old make up, some of which I would like.
I slept in till 9am, so I slept for 7hrs straight, when I got up I leaked urine, I am thankful I was wearing a pad.
Jess called in to pick up Leo’s medication containers while her she read something I wrote about how I am coping and became upset and came and hugged me.
When I showed Kathy the same note all she said was that I told her that on Saturday, she wasn’t very sympathetic.
Tim was sympathetic when he read it.
Monday morning now, I slept well last night and woke up at 6.45am when alarm went off.
Again I started leaking as soon as my feet hit the floor.
Had a hour nap but still tired.
Blain scared me when he crept in to the house, without me noticing.
I was watching TV when Jono arrived with stuff for me I felt like crying I was so pleased with the stuff he gave me.
Tim arrived home while Jono was here and was surprised that he didn’t want money for the stuff he gave me.
On Wednesday, Sandra came over and did tried to upload some documents to Centrelink for Mum but the didn’t go and she had to take them up and hand them into in person. It was nice seeing her.
On Thursday I managed to dress myself this morning but then things went down hill.
Did manage to get through to palliative care about grief counselling. Someone named Mel the girls will ring me on Monday to arrange a time for one on one counselling.
Jessica has sprained her ankle and is unable to go shopping with me tomorrow, so Natasha will hang around and help me.
Mum told me that Sandra’s dog Ruby got out again and when she got home the ranger was there. She was given two options, either surrender the dog or pay a $2,000plus fine. She chose to surrender the dog, however,her and Ed decided to tell the girls that it was hit by a car and died so the ranger took it away.
Friday morning I was up and bathed first thing but had to wait till Tasha came and dressed me. She stayed at the square with me.
Tasha has borrowed my car again, Tim said she has to stop lending her car to other people.
Tonight when I was going to the bathroom I wet myself again and called Tim to help but he said he would get Tasha.
She wants me to get adult nappies for use at night.
Saturday I slept in till 9am just after I did Tasha turned up with the nappies, the cost pissed Tim off. She helped me get dressed while. here.
Kathy took her girls to gymnastics this morning so she was unable to get my groceries. However, she said that in future she will get them at 10.30 for me.
Kathy and the girls called in for a couple of hours.
Jessica & Tim have gone out car searching.
Tim referred to the nappies as an extra expense. The way he said it made me cry.
Sunday morning and last night I used on of the adult nappies it worked bloody great.
THE SUN DOES NOT
SHINE FOR A FEW
TREES AND FLOWERS,
BUT FOR THE WIDE
BY: Henry Ward Beecher