Dear Jeannie

I will now write a letter to my first sister the one closest to me in age, my sister Jeannie

Dear Jeannie

Well you are only 6 yrs younger than me and when our daughters where little we were very close, hanging out together once or twice a week. I would watch your girls if you needed me and you watched my girls in return and our daughters would often have sleep overs at each other houses.

As children we were not overly close as you had Sue who is only a year younger than you so it was natural for you to hang out with her but when we were in our 20’s Sue was living in Lemon Tree Passage which for all who do not know is 45minutes away and we didn’t see Sue very often for many years but this is not about Sue it is about you.

You always seemed to know what you wanted from life unlike me who has just drifted through life.

You know I always thought you were mum and dads favourite child when we were little but that may have been because you had so many serious asthma attacks and had to be rushed to hospital many times and so in my young eyes you got your own way so often and seemed to get away with things that I would get into trouble for.

I do at times miss how close we use to be but such is life, we both have so much going on in our lives that we don’t have the time for each other well it seems that way.

I do remember thinking when I was little that it sucked that you didn’t have magical powers like Jeannie from I dream of Jeannie.

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Dear Sandy

I have been thinking about whom I would write a letter to next and decided it would be my “baby girl” my youngest sister Sandra so here it goes.

Dear Sandy

I remember the night you were born, I was at nan & pops place while mum was in hospital and dad called in on his way home from the hospital and told us that mum had a little girl and she was going to be named Sandra Mae, I had been asleep but when I heard dads voice I got up and walked out to the lounge room.

I wasn’t sure how I felt when dad told us about you I was excited and a bit I don’t what the right term would be I felt strange, I was 15 when you were born and I didn’t know how I was going to feel about having a baby in the house. However, it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with my baby sister, who I have thought of as my “baby girl” from pretty much day one.

I use to love to take you with me when I would walk around to the shops and when you were a toddler you would come and get into bed with me in the morning or sometimes during the night. I loved it when you climbed into bed with me and you would play with my hair if felt amazing and I thought I was so lucky to have this baby girl who I could pretend was my baby……………..lol

Now you were a bit of wild girl as a teenager and gave mum and dad some sleepless nights and caused them a fair bit of worry, but you turned out pretty great coming through those rough years strong and amazing. You are now the mother of two absolute adorable little girls of your own, I am sure you are hoping that they do not give you as much worry as you did when they are teenagers………….lol

I have always felt close to you because you are in many ways like my first girl, in fact even though I only have 3 daughters I have 5 girls starting with you and ending with Kelli.

I love you sis, I love the woman you grew into and the mother you became but then we both had a pretty amazing teacher when it comes to motherhood.

You were always dad’s favourite and you were pop’s favourite as well, hell I think you are still dad’s favourite. I am not mum but like mum I will always be here for you because you will always be special to me, you’re my “baby girl” and I love you so much.

Above photos of your girls Denni & Temika aren’t they beautiful like their mummy.

Dear Kelli

Well I am now done with letters to my daughters so I will move onto the girl I call my sweetheart.

Dear Kelli

You are not my daughter, you are my niece but I love you like a daughter, since you have been living here with me and uncle Tim I have discovered how much we have in common and I love it just like I love you.

You may be my sister’s daughter but in my heart you are my youngest girl, my sweetheart. Damn you have grown into an amazing woman; you are a bloody fantastic mother and an even better cook.

It seems like only yesterday that you got your first tattoo and your mum went mad at me for not trying to talk you out of getting it and for saying it looked cool, however, I felt at the time you didn’t need to have me come down on you as Sue was doing that. Mothers are the one to read the child the riot act; aunties are the ones to offer support and understanding.

I know at some point you will find a place of your own to rent again and move out but I am not looking forward to that day, I know it has to happen but I have had a taste of what it is like not having you here when you went to stay at your mums place for a month while she was in Queensland and I missed you so much.

Even Uncle Tim said that the house seemed so quiet without you and Daemon here.

I worry that once you move out we will lose the close bond we have formed while you have been living here, I will also miss Daemon so much. You have the kindest heart and I know are there for me, on the weekend when I had a turn while out walking I knew you would come and fetch me which is why I asked mum/nanna to ring you because I knew I could count on you.

The love I feel for you is the same as the love I have for my daughters I know your Aunty Sandra doesn’t get that I love you like a daughter or that I worry about losing something from our relationship when you move, I guess I worry that it will be out of sight out of mind. Yeah I know I am being a worry wart but you know I am a worry wart at times.

I love you Kelli and I want to thank you for being such a bloody marvellous woman a wonderful and loving mother to Daemon, I am proud of you just like I know your mother and father are……………..ok maybe a little more……………lol

Dear Jessica

Well the time has come for me to write a letter to my youngest daughter Jessica aka……………..my special girl………………..

Dear Jessica

Of all my daughters you are the one most like me, you are the one I nagged your dad to have, you are the one I often feel closest too. When you were born I remember counting your fingers and toes and thinking you were so beautiful, it wasn’t till later in the morning (you were born around 4am) when I went into the nursery to see you and feed you that I was told the doctor wanted to talk to me about your arm. I thought what about her arm I had no idea what they were talking about and when I saw what they were talking about I wondered how did I not notice when you were born.

You were born with a birth mark that ran down your left arm, but it meant nothing to me and I tried to instil in you that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed about it was just part of you, it wasn’t till you were in your teens that the doctor suggested doing something to remove the puffiness as he was worried it would interfere with your development of breasts.

You may not know that I was very very worried about you having surgery to remove it but I did try not to show it.

It wasn’t the first time you had surgery as you had to have surgery when you split your head open riding a pee wee 50 through a fence with no helmet. However all in all you didn’t cause me much worry as a child, you were not perfect and you did get into trouble and do things you shouldn’t have, such as throwing a brick at one of the neighbour’s son and missing him and smashing the windscreen on our car. You were there when Natasha broke the toilet at school, and you were the one who got pissed off and grapped a knife and stormed outside to “teach the little bastard a lesson” your words not mine.

You may not know this but I always thought you would have a baby by……………………..Leo’s father………………from the time I met him, I don’t know why I thought that I just did and well I was right. Although for the love of me I do not understand why you were nervous about telling me you were pregnant, hell what did you think I would say. I was over the moon at the thought of having a second grandchild.

You use to clash with your dad a lot, part of this was because I felt he couldn’t see you as an adult and still treated you like a child and of course you didn’t like that. I am glad thought that you and him get along better now that you don’t live in the same house as he does. Your dad is very proud of you; I think you know that I am sure you know that I am proud of you.

Yes I would love to have more grandchildren and yes I will joke about it but if you only have the one child that is fine with me, I want you to be happy, that is the most important thing to me but as mother yourself you will understand that.

Dear Natasha

The time has come to write a letter to my second daughter……….aka………..my darling daughter Natasha

Dear Tasha

Hello my darling daughter, you are the child Tim wanted when Kathy-Lee was around a year old your dad decided he wanted another child and nagged me till I agreed, as a child you were so much a daddy’s girl as far as dad was concerned you could do no wrong.

You were always a bit of a wild child, doing what you want no matter what. Your first day of school you came home with blood on you uniform and when I asked what happened you said a boy was mean so you punched him………………….lol

While in primary you managed to break a toilet by standing on it and talking to your sister and cousin, you and Samantha managed to get into trouble without even trying……………lol

Than before we knew it you were a teenager and the trouble really started, you were a rebel and wild child staying out at night for all hours no matter what your dad and I did. I had many sleepless nights worrying where you were and what you were doing only going to sleep when you were home safe. You spent a lot of time with Samantha as a teenagers and I feel at times you were both bad for each other and wonder if you two didn’t spend so much time together would you have got into so much trouble.

I was so worried about you that at one point I feared for your life and lay in bed and prayed for someone to come into your life to get you away from those you were running around with. My prayers were answered and you did escape those who I felt were not good for you.

Some people may find it strange that I and your dad prayed for you to have a baby, we both thought if you had a baby you would settle down and that is exactly what happened when you became pregnant with Blain our first wonderful grandson.

You have not had the best taste in men, being with a few wastes of space guys over the years, but up until this year I have never ever said anything about them as they were who you chose to be with and if you are happy then I am happy. I, however, wonder if Jerry makes you really happy at times you don’t seem to be that happy with him. Also the fact that Blain doesn’t like him causes me concern, that said if you are really happy with him and if you and Blain can work something out regarding Jerry then I am happy for you. What I want most is for you to be happy and in love with someone who treats you well.

I hope you know that I am proud of the woman you have grown into and think you are a loving mother and sister.

Dear Kathy-Lee

Ok now I have run out of grandparents and parents to write to so I will now start on my daughters should I start with Kathy and go from first to last or maybe I should go from last to first, let me think……………………..

Ok I will start with Kathy-Lee

Dear Precious

You are my precious first born daughter the child both me and daddy wanted to have, I remember how excited I felt when I knew I was expecting a baby I could barely weight for you to come into the world. I remember when you were first born how your daddy held you in his arms and you looked into his eyes for the longest time, mummy slept after you were born as she was exhausted, you know after 11 hours of labour I was fed up and wanted to go home and not bother having you…………….lol

We chose your name long before you were born or even before we knew you were a little girl, we never even thought of a boy name it was just like we knew you would be a girl, your initials spell our KLAM daddy has always said you were his pearl that is found in a clam.

As a baby you were not the easiest baby, you cried a lot and I was convinced you hated me because you would settle for your dad or your nanna but not for me. The day we came home from hospital I rang nanna crying because you would not stop crying and daddy and I jumped in the car and went over to nanna’s house and as soon as she picked you up you stopped crying. I knew then you hated me…………………lol

I started you on Farex http://www.farex.com.au/ when you were only 6 weeks old because you would not settle, of course I never told the doctor or baby nurse this because they would have had a fit but it worked and you would feed and settle for a normal amount of time.

As a toddler and child you were always a headstrong, independent, stubborn child and from the earliest age I felt like you didn’t need me and have often felt that nothing I did was good enough, yes I still often feel like I fail you or let you down in some way.

My love for you is overflowing but there are times when I feel like it is not enough and no matter how much I love you or give you it will never be enough. That said I am here for you and always will be, I don’t mind if you feel you need to ring and vent to someone that is what mums are for, I will listen and I will not judge sometimes I might not say much but that is because I don’t know what to say that would make you feel better so instead I just listen.

I know you feel like I forced you out of home when you moved out for the first time, this wasn’t the case I was helping you, you wanted to move but was naturally a little scared of doing so, so being mum I helped and yes I know that you would get lonely at times living on your own but I also feel that most of the time you were happier as you and I would clash something terrible when you lived at home. Some people just can’t live together and that is you and me, I have never, not wanted you around but I think we are better when we don’t live under the same roof.

I want you to know that I am proud of the woman you have grown into you are a strong, independent woman who can look after herself and what a wonderful mother you are, you are so hands on always playing with the girls and doing things with them they are lucky to have such a wonderful mother.

I hope Michael knows how lucky he is to have such a wonderful, loving and caring woman in his life.

I love you my precious daughter and mummy is proud of you and I hope you never forget that

 

My Arm

Look at my poor arm, it is so sore I am applying Aloe Vera Gel to the arm to try and help it heal but after I apply it the arm is even more sore.

Now I know you are all wondering what on earth I did to it, well I had it covered with band aid for about 4 days because of a couple of small sores on the arm and on Thursday it started leaking goo. I removed the band aid and it looked like it does and was as sore as all hell.

Some have said I might be allergic to the band aid, others have said I left it on too long and that is what caused it, whichever I don’t know. All I do know is it looks terrible and is as sore as………………..