Ok how slack am I when it comes to posting for some reason I am pretty slack but let’s all move on past that and onto another letter this one will be going out to my second sister Sue.
Well you and I have not always been close, for many years I envied you and you despised me thankfully those days are gone and we are now pretty close. Why did I envy you, well you had something I always wanted, twins, of course I had no idea how much work it was to raise twins but that wasn’t the point I wanted to have twins and I didn’t you did.
I didn’t really like that you lived so far away either and I know you will say it isn’t that far but let’s be honest here sis it was, when you consider we all pretty much live within 20 minutes of each other you being what 40-50 minutes away was far away. It was because of the distance that we didn’t see you much and you rarely came to family functions, I don’t know why that was maybe you didn’t have the fuel or the time or maybe there was some other reason but it’s all water under the bridge now.
When you moved back to Newie and started living within the 20 minute range we started to see you more and you and I developed some kind of relationship. I think you realised how much I understood how difficult it could be raising somewhat hard to handle children, we may love our children but there is no escaping the fact that they could be difficult to handle at times. I also know what it is like to have a child you just clash with no matter how hard you try not to, you just rub each other the wrong way and sparks fly.
Now sis what does annoy me a lot is that you often think you are the black sheep of the family and that being so is in some way a bad thing, this makes me want to “Gibbs slap” you because even if you were the black sheep of the family that would not be a bad thing, it would only mean you are an individual but sis I don’t think you are.
Sometimes I think you are your own worst enemy by that I mean you get your life running smoothly and you do things to derail yourself, like now you have a car but for some bloody reason you have times when you talk about giving the car back and not having it because you think it keeps you tied to Garry. The only thing that keeps you tied to Garry is you; you are the one who chooses to have an on/off relationship with him.
I have worried about you more than you know, you have had to battle addictions in your life and that caused me a lot of worry but I never let one I couldn’t see the point and I had no advice to give so I said nothing and pretended I didn’t know that was wrong on my part. I have seen you pick one loser after another when it came to men and that upset me but it is your life so I said nothing.
Sometimes sis I think you are afraid to be alone, now I will not pretend to know what that is like since I have been with Tim for 30yrs and have no idea what it is like to be alone. That said I think you do not have a high opinion of yourself which is why you have a bad track record with men. You need to love who you are in order to choose the right partner for yourself and I don’t thank you do that, you choose men who make you feel good some of the time and rotten at other times. One thing I can say about Tim is that he has never made me feel like deserve to be treated badly or rotten in any way. Ok I can say a lot more about him but this letter isn’t about Tim it is about you.
Growing up we had a love/not love relationship notice I didn’t say hate well that is because I have never hated you I have not always loved how you acted but I have never hated you ever. Sometimes sis I have felt that you thought I had some kind of perfect life but I guess that is normal because I thought you had some kind of great life better than mine at times.
I love you sis and I want to see you happy, you are so blessed you have 4 wonderful children (I wanted more than 3 children) so another thing I am jealous of you have 5 beautiful grandchildren another thing I am jealous of (I want more than 4 grandchildren) siblings who not only love you but like you, the best parents ever, trust me I know this…………. they rock.
I have told you before and I will tell you again, you are one of the strongest most amazing women I know, you are a survivor, but you need to stop just surviving and start living your life and doing things that make you truly happy, if you are already doing so than that is great because you are an amazing woman who deserves the best in life.