Inappropriate Anger and BPD

Hello everyone, well it is Thursday already and that means it is time for some information about borderline personality disorder or BPD. This week we are looking at inappropriate anger.

As I have explained in previous posts a person with PBD struggle to regulate their emotions. Anger is an emotion and thus no different those with BPD can be hypersensitive and will easily overreact.

The slightest thing may trigger an extreme outburst and due to the PBD they will often become emotionally and physically combative towards others. These flare ups of anger are usually intense, quick and terrifying and almost always disproportionate to the incident at hand.  Or has my mum would say they make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Those around someone with BPD will do whatever it takes to keep the peace, they may lie, withdraw, or overly try to please the one with BPD.

Now people need to know and understand that the one with BPD are not proud of this behaviour but often feel unable to stop it, in fact they are usually immensely ashamed and remorseful after the fact. Such outbursts the trigger the overwhelming fear that they will now be abandon because in their mind who would want to live with or me around someone like that.

This then can set off another reaction of internalising their anger, which can lead to them self-harming. So, they are living in a vicious cycle of harming others and harming themselves.

This explains why when in an argument with someone Sue may start throwing things.  

If you are with someone with PBD who is in a rage try to stay calm, this isn’t easy, but it is better than getting into a screaming match. Try not to become defensive in the face of their accusations and criticisms no matter how unfair you feel they are being. It will only make them angrier so if possible, walk away take time and space to calm yourself down and hopefully they are doing the same.