Some thoughts for the day

Ok today I am just sharing a few random thoughts, not my random thoughts but someone’s……………..

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

No one is listening until you pass wind.

Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse then things just keep getting worse.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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