Meltdowns

Hi all, how many of you have had a melt down due to a dirty, messy house?

I think many of us have at one time or other, I know I have.

When my daughters where little I had many of them, it was the norm for me to have to ask, tell, demand and yell for something to be done in the way of housework.

I in fact yell this fact to my youngest daughter only today, she rings here after her dad tried to ring her to ask if she was coming for lunch and she was crying and he wasn’t sure what the problem was he knew it had something to do with Leo so he gave the phone to me and I listen for a moment and told her I would be there in 5 minutes.

I get to her place and she is going off her head at Leo because the house is a mess, she had a real melt down saying she hated the house and why was she the one always having to clean the house , why couldn’t Leo clean his room and help her clean when she asked. I said because he is a child and like most children he has to be told over and over to do stuff and like many mothers she has to yell to get the child to listen and take notice.

I also told her that she is the mother, she is the one who is responsible for cleaning the house and if she cleaned more frequently maybe the house wouldn’t be that bad. I also told her she said the same things about the house in Swansea so it isn’t the house it is that she doesn’t really like doing housework and yeah Leo is terrible when it comes to helping. Also she has a habit of sleeping in and then complaining that Leo is up getting into stuff while she is still in bed.

We all know that yelling isn’t productive but many of us end up doing it in frustration, I did it more then I liked but when I would calm down I would tell the girls I was sorry about the melt down and Jessica is the same she will have a melt down and when she has calmed down she tells those she went off at that she is sorry. She said sorry to me this morning as well as to Leo, after she went off she felt bad for going crazy.

Now let us talk about Natasha she also had a melt down yesterday about the state of this house, but this house isn’t that dirty or messy, the problem she has is that I don’t clean the way she likes. She goes off about not doing mess and not cooking in a messy kitchen and so forth I said that I clean up all the damn time. I always pack the dishwasher she said she doesn’t use the dishwasher she prefers to wash by hand and I said I know that and I am ok with that but I always make sure the dishes are in the dishwasher I pack it and I unpack it.

I do not only mine and Tim’s washing I often hang her clothes and cleaning clothes on the line for her as well as getting them off and some weeks I vacuum two or three times other weeks I do it only once a week and even then I don’t do it good enough for her. I have told her is I don’t do it good enough she if free to do it herself but stop complaining that I am not doing anything when in truth I am not doing it the way you like and that is the big problem.

Natasha did, however, tell me she was sorry for her melt down and didn’t mean to take things out on me.

So melt downs have been happening here the last couple of days.

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8 thoughts on “Meltdowns

  1. When it comes to mess and getting your children to help you with the clean up it requires motivation and persistence. House work is boring but it has to get done. Think of the cockroaches that show up if there is food left out, or the mice that come inside to seek out warmth and food? It’s not the houses fault it’s messy, it’s the people that live in it.

    Children take after their parents, especially the ones they live with. If Leo doesn’t know how to clean or find the motivation do so after being told countless times, it’s only because he learnt it from his mother.

    For some stupid reason, it’s always the mothers fault. My eldest has anger issues and my youngest complains a lot and can assure you they got it from me, which sucks.

    Having a melt down is awesome though. You feel like poop afterwards, but you also feel better in knowing that the kettle in which had been boiling for a long time finally blew the lid off the top.

  2. Aaaawww Moms and household meltdowns… We have all been there.

    When I get the opportunity to take a couple of steps away from the situation at hand, I ask myself “why am I so bothered?” I haven’t figured it out completely yet, and part of it is the fact that I feel I have to do everything, and the guys just show up for meals and take fresh clothes out of their closets, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with expectations. Not other people’s – my own expectations. Like “I only have one kid, I only work part-time, it should be possible to keep the house in an OK state.”

    I also find that the less time I spend at home, the less I care. So off I go… 😇

      • Is it possible that organisation is something that is learned from people willing to learn? Without that eagerness to maintain even the simplest of tasks on a regular daily basis you are bound to find yourself in a rather tough spot. I could care less for house work if i’m not home. If i can’t see it, it therefore doesn’t exist. But when i get home i know i have to get back into it.

        Those TV shows we all like will still be there, same with the home work. But when you have an 8 year old child who doesn’t have any kind of regular routine or a parent who will willingly wake up with their child there are once again going to be problems. When is bath time? Dinner time? Wake up time? Is there breakfast? Does the child get to make their own lunch? Does the child get to help with dinner? Does the child help with the chores? if not, reward charts are great and give motivation. Offer something they want in return for help around the house. In some cases this can be seen as bribery, but i’m sure 50% of parenting is bribing your child to get your own way anyway, haha.

  3. Well said Kathy, he needs a better routine in his life and I do not thing he has much of a routine if any at all, I love Jessica but she needs to pull her socks up a bit when it comes to Leo she loves him but doesn’t always do what it really best for him she tries I know she tries but she has a habit of giving up because it is too hard.

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