Dear Enid aka Big Nan

Yes the time has come for another letter, I know some of you might be thinking when will she run out of family to write to, well let me tell you no time soon…………….lol

Anyway next up is my dad’s mum Enid so here it is……………..

Dear Enid

You were known to many in the family as “big nan” as your mum was known as “little nan” but I don’t remember ever calling you that, however, we didn’t have a real close relationship this I feel had a lot to do with the fact you lived in Sydney and back when I was a child the trip to Sydney took 4 hours not like today when you can be there in 2-3 hours. We didn’t make the trip to Sydney very often so dad’s children didn’t see you very often.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have any memories of you, I do, in fact I have one that took place when I was a child and I was staying at your place and my cousin Tracy who was a few years younger than me and we went out to some amusement park and Tracy and I rode in the back of a ute, I don’t remember much but I do remember that.

You passed away 14 years ago and none of dad’s children attended your funeral at the time I know it didn’t bother dad that we didn’t go but afterwards it did, he regrets telling us we didn’t need to go. I would have attended if dad had said he wanted me to as there is very little I wouldn’t do to make dad happy but I didn’t know you well enough to be that upset by your passing.

You always seemed closer to Aunty Pat or Aunty Denise’s children maybe they saw you more often, I think they did but you were also closer to Aunty Pat and Aunty Denise and of course Aunty Vicky then you were to dad.

I can’t say what type of person you were since I didn’t know you well enough although I will never understand how a mother can abandon their child and I do feel you abandoned dad leaving him when he was only 8 years old to be raised by his aunt and uncle although I do think Tom was around a bit more then you.

I would like to be able to say you made mistakes and I will not judge you for them as I am not a judgemental person but hell yes I do judge you I can’t help myself I just do when it comes to how I feel my dad was treated, I would like to say I am sure you loved your children but I can’t I don’t know that.

Maybe when we are both in heaven I will get to know you better and feel differently about you but for now you were my grandmother and I am sure you loved your grandchildren what grandparent doesn’t love their grandchildren but I do not and have never felt a close connection to you.

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2 thoughts on “Dear Enid aka Big Nan

  1. I always struggle to personalize family members who I never really got to know, especially when their actions often hurt those I do know and love. I think you did a great job here just putting it all out there.

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