Hurtful Words…………

Has you ever told your mum you hate her?

Do you wonder how you would feel if your own child said they hated you?

Now many young children will say in anger that they hate their parent and as a mother I can tell you that my girls have said it to me when they were little and yes it hurt but they were children and I knew they didn’t mean it, they were just angry with me because they couldn’t get their own way…………

However I can tell you that when my adult daughter, a mother herself said it to me it hurt all the more, now when she says things like that while angry I can deal with it as I know it is the anger talking and I always thought she doesn’t really mean it she is just pissed off with me at the moment.

However a while back she said it to me when she wasn’t angry at all, we were talking and I said to her “you really don’t hate me” and she replied “yes mum I do” and she was serious…………….she went on to say that sometimes she really does hate me…………..this hurt and it still hurts and you know what she has no idea why it hurts so much……………..and I hope she never understands the hurt because the only way she is going to understand it is if her daughter says it to her as an adult and not in anger…………..if that makes any sense……………..


14 thoughts on “Hurtful Words…………

  1. I’m not sure that there are any more hurtful words in the language. Perhaps right up there is “I don’t care”. I for one don’t believe your daughter recognizes the impact of her words, for though there may be times when we don’t like the actions of another, there is always love. And I do believe that your daughter loves you very much..

  2. My children (and me for that matter) have said those hurtful words – to this day I wish I could tell my mom I was sorry for saying them – I have to trust that she knows. As adults my children have never said them, but my fear is that they think it.

    1. I think many children have said those words but generally speaking when they become adults they no longer say such hurtful things……. I would rather my daughter think it not say it…….

  3. I don’t want to like this one… I told my mom many times as child that I hated her. :/ I regret it to this day. Quite possibly my only regret in life, but I make up for it as often as i can now as an adult. My Mom knows I love her! She knows I didn’t mean those words back when I was so young. I hope that your daughter just means something else… That perhaps the way it’s coming out isn’t the way it’s meant to be taken. I know that would be so heartbreaking :/ I know you do so much and love her dearly. Kids are so mean sometimes.

    1. I know all my daughters love me but it still hurt to hear her say such words in a calm voice when she wasn’t even angry with me at the time….if she meant something else I have no idea what it was……..

  4. Very painful to read, I can only imagine how much it must have hurt to hear her say this as an adult, and not in the heat of anger. I hope you let her know how much this hurt your feelings. We’re always going to be “safe” for our kids, but that doesn’t mean it’s ok for them to trample on us. 😦

  5. My daughter told me that she hate me because I hate her according to her. She stated that she doesn’t ‘t want to see me, told to me, send a message, anything to do with me. I am praying for her because I think something is going on and she may just act it out . I am the only one around so , I am a target.

    1. Sometimes our children do not realise how hurtful some of those words are, sometimes we just have to give them space and hope they will at some point realise that they have hurt us and also have hurt themselves.

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