Some days life seem harder than other days even while on my medication, I have times when I lay in bed at night and wonder why life has to be so hard and trust me it is so hard, harder than I would like.
Sometimes I wonder why it is that we never hear from Natasha unless she wants money or something else, well it feels like those are the only times we hear from her. Or how I have managed to piss Kathy off again while talking to her on the phone like this morning she rang me and got all annoyed that I had answered the phone sounding angry which I wasn’t, in fact I was playing with my niece Temika when she rang and I was in a good mood but Kathy said I was angry and sounded really annoyed with me. When Kathy is annoyed with me she will call me “mother” with that tone of annoyance.
Then there are times when I feel if I can’t do something for Jessica I will be letting her down ok I often feel like I let Kathy down or that I have failed Kathy in some way but it is not a feeling I get in regards to Jessica very often.
Of course there is many times when I feel stressful just living with Tim and how he is such a tight ass with money on a day to day basis, he can be very generous at times and will spoil me. I just wish he would be a little more like my dad and give me money so I can get him a nice present for his birthday or Father’s Day thankfully I often manage to get him something nice for Christmas but only because I get Chrisco Christmas Hampers and will usually get a gift card that I can either give him or use to buy him something…………..
Lately I have been so broke there are times when all I want to do is cry and Tim isn’t and help all he will say is he hasn’t any money but he always seems to fine money for his grog, smokes and other stuff he feels like buying……..