Dear Poppy

After nanna comes pop, so here is my letter to my pop

Dear Poppy

Yes you are poppy sometimes I would call you pop but often it was poppy and I remember you saying that you would follow nanna anywhere and you use to joke that she was the boss and you just did as you were told………….lol

You know pop you had the strangest sense of humour and it was often hard to tell if you were joking or not, but you were also very loving and there was never any doubt that you loved nanna.

It was hard for all us when in the 90′s you for reasons not know by anyone including yourself I think that you distanced yourself from the rest of the family and wanted nothing to do with us, those were hard years for all of us who loved you, but mostly for my mum, yes I was angry with you for hurting her like you did but in the end I don’t think you remembered those years.


I know that during your last months you were happy to see us and by us I mean me and mum, it was me and mum who would visit you in the hospital and then the nursing home and I know you are still hanging around the nursing home waiting for nanna to pass over and be with you.

You loved and cared for nanna so much that you didn’t want her to go into a nursing home and in fact you cared for her at home right up till you had to go into hospital yourself, I know that uncle Frank didn’t realise how hard it was to care for nanna till after you went into hospital and he tried to do it in your place. It was so hard that he decided it would be better for nanna to go into a nursing home, I do not think this would had made you happy but there was nothing to be done about it you were no longer able to care for her.

I know that after you passed away you would still play with the little ones Sydney-May and Temika at the nursing home when we went to visit nanna, as both Sydney-May and Temika told us you did and they were too young to remember you when you passed away being only 11 months old both of them.

Pop you are still very much missed and both me and mum think about you often, and even though some people do not think nanna knows you are gone me and mum do not agree as when we have been there we have talked about you nanna will have a tear roll down her face so as if the thought of you not being with her is upsetting.

Dear Nanna

Dear Nanna

Words cannot really explain how much I love you, how special our relationship was when I was growing up and when I became a mother myself. I spent some of the happiest times as a child in your house with you and pop, you always made me feel like I was your favourite grandchild even though you loved all your grandchildren the same. The years I went in to help you clean the office building and the dentist surgery were great I loved that I was the one who got to go with you.

This photo was taken in 1989 at my nan’s house Christmas Day.

Christmas was a special time and I loved so much that we went to your house for Christmas lunch because you could feel the love when one walked into the house, and you could smell the food and nanna you were the best cook. I remember Tim’s first Christmas with the family he couldn’t get over how many people there was at your place for lunch and how much food there was.

Now that you are older and frail and in a nursing home I still love to see you in my eyes you still look like the wonderful woman in the above photo even though the top photo is more what you look like now, it isn’t how I see you. When you speak which is not often it still warms my heart and takes me back to my younger days, nanna you will always be so special to me and I know there are some who might think you would be better off with God but I don’t want to lose you I love you so much and going to visit you brings joy to my heart.

Dear Mum

Ok I have done a letter to dad so now of course I have to do a letter to mum, everyone liked the letter to dad hope the one to mum comes off as well.

Dear Mum

Growing up you and I didn’t have the close relationship I had with dad, I don’t have any special memories of you and me from when I was young I am not sure why that is all I know that it is like it is, anyway that doesn’t mean we don’t have a special relationship now. I guess growing up I was a daddy’s girl and now I am a middle age woman I have become more then your daughter, I am your friend.

You are my best friend as they say, the closeness I have with you know is special, I love our nightly phone calls and Tim always says we could talk for hours about nothing at all and he is right and I love that.

You know mum when I thought about what type of mother I hoped to be one day I would always think I want to be just like my mum, because as a mum you are wonderful, loving, caring, and firm and fair and I wanted to be all those things to my children. To me you are everything a mother should be, of course as a child I may not have thought that but from around the age of 14 the thought of you as the perfect mother started to take shape.

You have always been the one person I could turn to when I felt like everything was falling apart and being mum to my three girls was just so hard, I have memories of me ringing you in tears because being a mum was so hard and I felt like I was failing and not living up to the high standard I thought mums should live up to that standard being you…………….

I use to wonder how you could have 5 children who didn’t feel jealous of each other and always knew that they were loved equally as I had Kathy-Lee who was jealous of Jessica and thought I didn’t love her as much as her sisters. I now know that it wasn’t anything I did wrong but for a long time I did think you had some secret of how it was done, you made being a mum seem so easy and that is why I felt I had failed.

You seem ageless mum, no matter how old you get you still have all the time in the world for you children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, I hope I look as good as you do when I reach your age and I hope I don’t have to find out what life is going to be like without having you around. I love you mum, you are who I always wanted to be like you are the reason I only ever wanted to be a mother and grandmother I am so proud to be called your daughter thank you mum for being so bloody amazing and such and inspiration to me and my siblings.

You are the reason Dawson is so stable I do not know where he would be without you, he is a boy with a lot of love in his heart and that he gets from you, you have shown us all how to love and you have given us all the feeling of being loved and accepted for who we each are.

 

Love Jo-Anne

Dear Dad

This is the first post in a series of Dear……………. Letters to my family members, I am kicking it off with a letter to my dad……………..so here we go……………

Dear Dad

You know that you are loved by your family but do you know how much we need you and how much we worry about you. We all know that you are fed up with doctors and hospital but it worries your children and grandchildren when you put off seeing a doctor when we all can see you are not well, when you are having trouble breathing and put off going to the doctor or A & E until you get worse. When you have a fall during the night and are short of breath we would rather you ring 000 and improve and not need them or have them come out and check you and be told you are ok then you leave it too late. Yes there are times when going over to the hospital seems like a waste of time and you feel too sick to wait around the hospital waiting room for ages but your health is so important to all your family.

We worry about your memory and understand your fear as much as we can but really need to take notice of these things, don’t put off getting help till it is so bad there is nothing that can be done to help, we know that you worry about losing your licence but we are more worried about losing you period.

Dad your family needs you and that means you need to take care of your health.


Ok enough going on about your health let’s move onto all the great memories I have of you my dad, one of my earliest memories is of walking around near areopelican with me on your shoulders. I also have a vague memory of the time we got bogged on Blacksmiths beach and yes I do remember it is not a clear memory but I do still remember it. The time we wallpapered the kitchen is also a good memory and it still makes me laugh when I think about it, I don’t know if you know dad how much it meant to me that I was able to help my dad with things, like wallpapering the kitchen and running power down to the garage when we lived in Flame street and putting up the pool.

I know I am blessed to have you as my dad; you have always been my hero, my idol. When I was around the age of 18 nanna asked me what type of man I would like to marry and all I could think of was a man like my dad, to me you were special the perfect dad, you could do everything and I always knew you would protect me and keep me safe. I know it may sound silly but you are still my hero and my idol and I am still so proud to be your daughter.

I was lucky in that I had you all to myself for 6 years but even when Jeannie & Sue came along I never felt pushed aside or that you loved me any less I just knew you had enough love to go around. All my life I have wanted to make you proud.

Catalogues What Do You Think Of Them

Do you read/ look at store catalogues?

I do, I like my catalogues and get annoyed when we don’t have them delivered. I like to go through them and write down where the specials are, as money is tight I have to shop in two or 3 different stores. I am not the only one who likes her catalogues Kelli is the same and so is my mother, in fact though I have had to give my mum some catalogues as she hasn’t been getting any delivered to her place since the beginning of the year.

I don’t just like the catalogues from the supermarkets I also like to go through the Kmart, Big W and Target catalogues and Best & Less when we get them sometimes I just like to look at the catalogues even though I can’t afford to buy stuff usually those are the ones from the jewellery stores but I do like to look through them and dream about all the things I can’t afford.


I have been known to circle things in jewellery catalogues and leave them hanging around for my husband and daughters in the lead up to events like Mother’s Day and my birthday but with no luck they either don’t see them or don’t take any notice of the things I have circled.

I know there are people out there who do not like them and get annoyed when they find them in their letter box but I am just not one of them.

Tiredness…………how do you do deal with it

 

Tired

Do you ever feel so tired that eating seems to much work?

Do you ever feel so tired that the thought of having a shower or bath seems to much work?

When you feel this tired what do you do?

Does it depend on the time of day and what else you have to do or does it make no difference because you are just so tired you don’t care.

For me the time of day and what else I have to do does matter, if it is late in the afternoon I just give into the feeling of being so tired I don’t want to do anything but if it is still around the middle of the day  or mid afternoon and I have more things to do I just suck it up and deal. I don’t whinge and bitch about being tired, I can’t see the point.

I have daughters who does just that whinge and bitch about how tired they are feeling but it doesn’t help it doesn’t make one less tired and doesn’t fix anything but yes I do get that a person might feel better if they have someone to bitch to about how tired they are.

When my daughter rings me in a state because she is just so tired and her child/children are driving her around the bend and she has no patience to deal with the child and wants to scream and hit things (not the child), I just listen and offer support and tell them I understand because I do understand I have been there back when my girls were little.

I however had no one to ring and bitch to, sometimes I would ring my mum and have a bitch to her but most of the time I didn’t I just sat in the hallway and cried and said aloud that I felt I couldn’t go on or endure another minute of being a mother.

Then after a few minutes I would pick myself up wash my face and go on and endure more because I was mum and that was what I had to do, it is what all mums have to do.

My last few days and a birthday in the family


Good afternoon everyone, yes I am here, I have not dropped dead or found myself in hospital although I can understand if you thought there was something wrong since I have not been here writing a post in days. I had planned to write one yesterday but just never got around to it, so here I am writing this on a Monday afternoon.

Well let’s go back in time a little and I mean a little till 1am Friday morning I got up to go to the toilet and while I was in the bathroom Kelli knocks on the door and wants me to go into her room and look at Daemon

.

So I did and he sounds terrible, he was coughing and having trouble breathing after a few minutes I said to her “get dressed we are going to the hospital” I went in got dressed told Tim we were taking Daemon to the John Hunter (hospital) and we left. We arrived at the hospital around 2am and we didn’t leave till 6.45am, anyway Daemon has croup, now days the give the child 5mls of Prednisone and watch them for 4 hours and if the child has improved they send you home and tell you to follow up with your GP in 2 days’ time, so he took him back to the doctors today at 11am, he has been put on prednisone again for another 3 days as he still has the cough mostly at night but that is usually when croup rears its ugly head.

In fact Friday night his mother went out for her birthday, she turned 20 on Friday and had planned to go out for the night with her cousin Jessica (my daughter) and a friend named Jordan and even though Daemon was sick and she thought about cancelling she went because I made her…………lol

I told her that he would be fine and I would ring her if he was bad and needed to go to the JHH again.


Turned out he slept fine Friday night, and was ok Saturday & Sunday but let’s move onto Saturday I had a birthday lunch her for Kelli. I invited her parents and brother Vaughan and sister Heather along with my daughters and her grandparents, as it turned out because Daemon was contagious Kathy & Summer didn’t come and neither did Sandra & her girls or my dad but there was 9 adults here and Blain & Leo as well and Kelli seemed to have a good time. She was surprised that her parents and siblings came or that I invited them not sure which, Kelli has told me that she had not had a lot of good birthdays and I wanted to make this one a special one for her.

Saturday night Kathy rang me and said that she would be sending Summer to Michaels mother’s house every Wednesday while she is at work because I am too busy to watch her and she doesn’t think it is right that I get Kelli to watch her while I drive Leo to school or go and pick Leo up from school. She went on and one about how busy I am and how I don’t have time for her or her girls because I am always busy helping Jessica with Leo that I ended up breaking down and was sobbing because I was so upset. In the end Leo took the phone off me and talked to her before giving it to papa, I could hear Leo asking his way she made nanny cry. I getting upset caused both Kelli and Jes to get angry with Kathy and Jes took it upon herself to send Kathy a couple of texts about it what was said is between them.

Anyway Kathy came out here yesterday to talk to me yes Jenny (Michael’s mum) will have Summer every Wednesday but I will watch her each Tuesday morning while Kathy takes Sydney to swimming lessons and I will also watch her on Saturday’s while Kathy does her grocery shopping this is ok with me and I am happy now.

The way Kathy talked on Saturday night I felt like I had failed her again as a mother and that was why I was crying so much, while I was upset Daemon went and brought me his Micky Mouse and Leo gave me his Spiderman and Big Bird to hold to comfort me and help me calm down. They were both so cute both upset to see me crying, really the best medicine when one is upset is the love and compassion of a small child.

So Sunday turned out a good day I got to see my granddaughters and despite what Kathy seems to think at times I do love to see them but no I don’t got to them very often at all because I am so busy I don’t usually have the time to just drive over there on the off chance they will be home to pop in to see them. This annoys Kathy because Jenny will just drive over to see them at times, however, as I said to Kathy Jenny doesn’t have any other grandchildren living around her to have to help with her other two grandchildren live in Queensland.

Well I want to get this posted before Kelli gets back from dropping Leo at school and we have to go out to do some shopping so that is all for this post.

Texting or Ringing

Can you remember when we used mobile phones to make phone calls? I do I can remember when this thing called texting was all new and it wasn’t all that popular, now days we send so many text messages. In fact some of the text messages I have sent are bloody long indeed, I know that it is called a “sms” short message service but hell my texts are often anything but short………………..lol

When I send a text I don’t shorten my words or use just the letters of the words as pictured above, well not very often I don’t just use “k” instead of “ok” I can’t see the point and yes I do get that it is all about using as few characters as possible but for some reason I am not worried about that.

 

So do you send a lot of text messages or, do you prefer to ring and speak to a person, I find if I am watching tv or using the computer I prefer to send a message over making a phone call.

What do you think of the above list of abbreviations? Me I think they are funny and think it would be cool if they were used.

Television

Do you remember when television was first invented, no not that old, ok how about when colour tv first came to Australia, what still not that old. Well I am I do remember when colour tv first came out here in Australia in fact my parents were the first people in the street to get a colour tv. I remember the neighbour kids thought we were rich or something since when they first came out here they cost a pretty penny indeed, my uncle John said to dad that he should had waited a year or two as the price would come down, dad told him he didn’t want to wait he wanted a colour television now not in two years’ time.

The television we had was a large one, the biggest screen you could get at the time and it was decorative and not just a plan old box, when digital television came out my parents were pretty quick to snap one up, it was a high definition (HD) digital tv at that, even though there was like next to nothing shown in HD dad still wanted one. He has always been one to want the latest and the best.

My parents still have a HD television, be it now a flat screen tv, because that is all the rage now, I am surprised that dad doesn’t want a 3D television since they are the latest thing on the market, he must be getting old…………………….lol